The Nesting Instinct in Doulas

Source: Children's Hospital Colorado

In humans

In human females, the nesting instinct often occurs around the fifth month of pregnancy^[1][4], but can occur as late as the eighth, or not at all^{[citation needed]}. It may be strongest just before the onset of labor.^[1][5][6]

It is commonly characterized by a strong urge to clean and organize one's home and is one reason why couples who are expecting a baby often reorganize, arrange, and clean the house and surroundings.

Source: Wikipedia: Nesting Instinct

While nesting is common in the last few days of pregnancy, I find that I am also particularly prone to nesting at other times in my life. For example, I often "nest" at the beginning of a new year or right before school gets out and then again right before school starts back. I am likely to go into a cleaning frenzy right before I start a new project at work or anytime something new is on the horizon for our family. I'm a type A personality and I function much better when all of my little ducks are in a row. Over time, I've discovered that my nesting instinct (which is just a nicer way of saying I obsessively clean, organize, purge, and tidy) occurs when I am feeling out of control. If there is some aspect of my life that I don't feel I have a firm grip on, I overcompensate by controlling something else, the tidiness of my home. It's kind of become a running joke around here.

When my doula clients reach 38 weeks, I go "on call" meaning that they can contact me 24/7 and I am ready at a moment's notice (preferably an hour) if mom feels that she is in active labor and needs me. My doula bag stays in the car, the car stays full of gas, I don't go out with the girls for margaritas, I arrange plan B for childcare, and I make an effort to get a decent night's sleep.

I often talk with my clients about the nesting instinct and how that big surge of energy and desire to prepare the home can be a sign of impending labor. I've found that I also tend to nest right along with the expectant mom. Part of it comes just from the lack of control as I firmly believe that babies should choose their own birthdays. Since cleaning is my coping mechanism, I use it to make up for the waiting game. But, when I have a suspicion that a client may be going into labor soon (next day or so), my nesting instinct goes into high gear. I never know how long I'm going to be away from home, so I like for everything to be easily accessible for my husband and daughter. I prep food, lay out clothes, pack school and extracurricular bags, and put my "village" of helpers on alert. I know that they could easily survive on their own but it makes me feel better to know I've left a good environment for them. I am the one who manages logistics for our family on a daily basis so I also leave behind plenty of notes hoping that no steps get missed.

I'm wondering if other doulas have experienced this nesting instinct right before a client goes into labor. Maybe this will get better with time as I become more seasoned. Your thoughts are welcomed in the comments below.